Sometimes You’re the Hater

… and you don’t even realize it.
When it comes to opportunity or competition which of the two drive you the most? There is much to be said for healthy competition, and when two people (or teams) have the same goal, it can be the only thing you see. When I played sports or had a military goal in mind competition truly was my number one motivator. In those situations though objectives are clear. Many times there are no options. You do as you’re told, and you don’t ask questions. Outside of a structured environment though being that single-minded can actually hurt you.

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When you are locked into the competitive mindset, you run the risk of not having an exit strategy… meaning you’ll never truly know when you’ve won. Your very definition of winning requires that you have an adversary. This is a person who can be easily manipulated. All you have to do is move the finish line and you’ll have them running the wrong race. People like that don’t race… They chase.

Opportunity as a motivator is the thing I’ve found to be more conducive to living actual life. Instead of chasing what someone else has, you’re granted the clarity to focus in on what you want. The way you describe success is your definition of winning, and you can do that regardless of where other people are in the race. Eventually you’ll come to realize the ultimate truth. Life isn’t a race.

3 Damn Good Ways to Get Rid of Hatred

The current climate festering between people has seen them divided on the basis of race, gender, sexuality, etc. We are constantly at one another’s throats. The situation is being exacerbated for political expedience and financial gain. So it begs the question: What can WE do to stop the hatred?

1) COMMUNICATION: Give the artists more of a voice

One of the ideas that immediately came to mind is that we need to communicate. It needs to happen using a medium that naturally drops our defenses. This speaks to the importance of the arts, particularly music and comedy. Music, even without lyrics can change one’s mindset, while comedians can get you to laugh at yourself. Both art forms can go a long way toward healing divides. This is the “Revolution of the Mind” I always reference. (James Brown gets the credit for that phrase).

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2) SHARING IS CARING: Stop hoarding resources

If we learn to share, it’s is another way to bring people together. Karma dictates that when you give, you also receive. It’s possible to do one without the other but it throws things off balance. Whatever it is that you’re hoarding is at risk of being taken outright by those who do not have.

TAOISM teaches us: If you amass a huge store of gold, no one can protect it

The need for defense creates the “Us vs. Them” dynamic all over again, but much of this can be alleviated simply by developing a sharing mindset. Am I saying don’t get rich? Not at all. Just look for opportunities to share and help others.

3) EMPATHY: Who made it cool to give Zero FKs?

The third idea that occurs to me is that people are often encouraged to develop their LACK of empathy. You’re being praised for NOT caring? Society places more emphasis on material ownership, and less on compassion. People have a twisted view of empathy, making it conform to man-made borderlines or ignorant notions of racial superiority. These are artificial constructs. Empathy is universal.

As valid as these ideas may be, they are not easy. Hatred is easy because you can “set it and forget it”. Love requires constant SELF EVALUATION. There are ideals you yourself must live up to.